well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
