Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize