You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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