Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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