Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
