I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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