TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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