Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
