: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
