i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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