I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
