Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dick very happy bro
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
