What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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