I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
