Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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