3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
