just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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