is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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