Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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