ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would ride that face into the sunset
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize