just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
