was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
