Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
