how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
