Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
