I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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