I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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