when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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