He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
COCAINE IS GR8
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
