i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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