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So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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