we have officially lost it.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
