3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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