lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
