If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
