you win again, gameday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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