I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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