i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
