U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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