your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
