so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
