Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
