just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
