I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
