just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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