She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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