And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
