there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
