That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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