Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
