Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
