There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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