I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize