somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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