do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
