My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
