Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
