I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
