How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
